Through this blog I found and embraced myself. I am a bilateral amputee after surviving meningitis in 1986. I have some scarring and have gone through numerous reconstructive surgeries. I am here to encourage independence, share my story, and grow into the best person I can be. I enjoy all things music, art, travel, cooking, humor, love and general creativity. Let's help each other through this journey of life!


fyprosthetics asked
Does it bother you when me (and other devs) notice different things about your legs/residual limbs that we find arousing (often related to them NOT looking "normal") and post about it? If you had a choice, would you rather be with a guy who ignores your prostheses and tries to treat your body as itf it's the physical norm or one who thinks that they're sexy the same way that your tits or ass are sexy and who treats the "cyborg" aspect of your body as a similar point of attraction/interest?

I can’t say it bothers me as it doesn’t really affect me directly. Anyone, anywhere can be aroused or interested in anything on this earth. It’d be a waste of time to get upset or bothered by it. Even if I wasn’t posting photos of my legs I’m sure something I post would be of interest to someone in some way. Even just a photo of me smiling could potentially arouse a person.

I wouldn’t really want all the focus to be on my legs or to have them be completely ignored. I think personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable if someone was attracted to my residual legs or prostheses. It’s not something I’ve ever dealt with in my life so I guess I can’t say for sure. 

Amputee Support Groups

Where have support groups been my entire life? Doctors, nurses and general medical staff have never really let me know of any. I was once told about a burn victim summer camp because my scaring was similar to those of burn victims. However, I was never in a fire and that suggestion just really pissed me off. I’m glad there are summer camps for burn victims (this was the late 90s) but how have I lived 27 years as an amputee without ever getting support from fellow amputees in my area? With the Meningitis Awareness Day coming up I’ve been trying to think of what I should do to bring about awareness not only for meningitis but also for amputees in Wisconsin. 

Growing up I literally thought I was the only child who was an amputee, having a support group could have helped me to alleviate my feelings of solitude and isolation. Granted I was the only child in my elementary school, middle school & high school I was not the only child who was an amputee in general. 

I’ve figured out that most support groups are for really young children or older adults. Since I wasn’t a part of any support group as a young child and I currently haven’t found any in my area (Madison, WI) I’m thinking I should just start one. I’ll be putting together a Facebook page for it and if anyone would like to share ideas that would be great. I am hoping it’ll be for younger adults, teens or recent amputees. No specific diagnosis or reason for amputation. I think it would just be extremely beneficial for us all to band together and know one another. Simply knowing we aren’t alone in this ever complicated world will be so enriching to each of us. Please share if you are anywhere in Wisconsin or know anyone within the state who is an amputee or may become one in the near future. I am a part of a group in the Northeastern Wisconsin area but since Madison is known for its world famous medical community it would be great to have one around here as well. 

Lets bounce some ideas off of one another my fellow amputees!!

Circa 1993 - My brother & I


Banks, “Brain”

I’m absolutely in love with this song. Cannot wait for a full length album. 

Bottoming Out - Prosthesis Issues

Sometime last week the additional padding in my right corset came loose and slipped out of place. Over the course of the weekend I noticed a small bruise at the bottom on my residual limb but wasn’t really too concerned. Today I woke up to a swollen leg & sore bone that I could barely apply pressure to. I realized I was bottoming out about then. You would think with my decades of knowledge as an amputee that I’d just know these things. 

I think with the legs of Christmas past (I went there) that I just assume they were poorly made and so I would just be in pain without the possibility of fixing them. I’d just live with this terrible pain all the time. Now I kind of know what to look for but sometimes I just forget to pay attention. Until my leg is screaming out in pain because the bone is hitting the bottom of the prosthesis I don’t think much of it. My behavior needs to change!! I’m going in a couple hours to have my padding adjusted in the corset and then heading home to lay down with an ice pack.

What do you do when your leg bottoms out? 

My cat has a real bitch face problem and she never wants to hug anymore. 

Anonymous asked
I think you are inspiring and insanely beautiful! So glad I found your blog!

Thank you for the compliment, you are far too kind. I’m also glad you found my blog! It’s always so nice to hear from people who have been inspired from my story. 

Silicone Liners

Living in Wisconsin will always have its up and downs. I love the summer for obvious reasons and I love winter because I’m not profusely sweating into my liners. That has bothered me from day one and I know I’ve posted about it a few times. I am realizing more and more that my legs hurt as I put on my liners because of the cold. I don’t have sores to contend with at the moment so its actually my leg bones. It’s an aching, throbbing kind of pain that bothers me throughout the day. Could this because for the past two decades I had only been wearing, warm & breathable wool socks and now am suctioned into silicone liners? These liners aren’t breathable and so when I am sweating in the warmers months there is no where for that to go and when I’m freezing in the winter months I can’t seem to warm up.

I’m not sure when I’ll ever have my own insurance again. I’m trying to move past the aching/throbbing pain in my legs and just focus on my health. I’ve been working out to lower my body weight as that isn’t helping me at all. Just losing 5-10 pounds will greatly reduce said pain and it will also mean I won’t develop pressure sores so often. 

What do other amputees do for sweating & severe cold when wearing silicone liners? I’m going to have to put up with this for a bit and it’s almost time to start applying prescription grade antiperspirant on my legs each morning & night. 

Volunteering - It’s a Whole Process

I haven’t volunteered since 2009 and kind of forgot it’s a big deal. You find a location to dedicate your time to, schedule an interview and fit it into your already busy schedule. Now I won’t be donating that much time right off the bat as I’m just getting started. I figured since I’m going in a different direction from Art Therapy I should have a bit more experience volunteering in a hospital/clinic setting. 

To be a volunteer at my local VA Hospital I have to go in for fingerprinting & two rounds of TB testing. I passed with flying colors.Fast-forward to orientation, where they had us watch a video on HIPA laws. This is stuff I kind of already know about as I’m basically in med school. Or so my friend says. Ha. Anyway, I’m finally to the point of scheduling volunteer time and am so excited. I even got a Linkin account set up so I can maybe start finding a more suitable job in my field. We’ll see if I’m able to get anything prior to graduating in a year and a half. No need to rush or wait; hence volunteering. I’m ready to have no down time and focus all my energy on my career. I think it’s time. 

#1 Reason I Don’t Sign Up for Snap Chat

Dick Pics. 

Online dating is bad enough, people never know which photos to put up (stop using the ones where you look like a serial killer) or what to say about themselves. Me included! 

Clearly, this new app was intended for said purpose. Otherwise, why? You take a photo to look back on it at a later date not for it to be deleted after a few minutes. 

This ends my old lady rant. 

Because sometimes I Just look better with one bespeckled eye. 

Because sometimes I Just look better with one bespeckled eye.